The Stand by Stephen King
“It don’t matter that you don’t believe in God. He believes in you.” -Mother Abigail
Psalm 78:11-42 (New Living Translation)
11 They forgot what he had done— the great wonders he had shown them, 12 the miracles he did for their ancestors on the plain of Zoan in the land of Egypt. 13 For he divided the sea and led them through, making the water stand up like walls! 14 In the daytime he led them by a cloud, and all night by a pillar of fire. 15 He split open the rocks in the wilderness to give them water, as from a gushing spring. 16 He made streams pour from the rock, making the waters flow down like a river!
17 Yet they kept on sinning against him, rebelling against the Most High in the desert. 18 They stubbornly tested God in their hearts, demanding the foods they craved. 19 They even spoke against God himself, saying, “God can’t give us food in the wilderness. 20 Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out, but he can’t give his people bread and meat.” 21 When the Lord heard them, he was furious. The fire of his wrath burned against Jacob. Yes, his anger rose against Israel, 22 for they did not believe God or trust him to care for them. 23 But he commanded the skies to open; he opened the doors of heaven. 24 He rained down manna for them to eat; he gave them bread from heaven. 25 They ate the food of angels! God gave them all they could hold. 26 He released the east wind in the heavens and guided the south wind by his mighty power. 27 He rained down meat as thick as dust— birds as plentiful as the sand on the seashore! 28 He caused the birds to fall within their camp and all around their tents. 29 The people ate their fill. He gave them what they craved. 30 But before they satisfied their craving, while the meat was yet in their mouths, 31 the anger of God rose against them, and he killed their strongest men. He struck down the finest of Israel’s young men.
32 But in spite of this, the people kept sinning. Despite his wonders, they refused to trust him. 33 So he ended their lives in failure, their years in terror. 34 When God began killing them, they finally sought him. They repented and took God seriously. 35 Then they remembered that God was their rock, that God Most High was their redeemer. 36 But all they gave him was lip service; they lied to him with their tongues. 37 Their hearts were not loyal to him. They did not keep his covenant. 38 Yet he was merciful and forgave their sins and did not destroy them all. Many times he held back his anger and did not unleash his fury! 39 For he remembered that they were merely mortal, gone like a breath of wind that never returns.
40 Oh, how often they rebelled against him in the wilderness and grieved his heart in that dry wasteland. 41 Again and again they tested God’s patience and provoked the Holy One of Israel. 42 They did not remember his power and how he rescued them from their enemies.
The book/movie The Stand is your typical story of good versus evil. There is a super flu that wipes out almost the entire country. As more and more survivors surface, they begin to have dreams. One of an old woman who provides hope and another of a man named Flagg who brings darkness. The characters begin to learn that they are having the exact same dreams and realize that they will be choosing what side to be on. As with all choices, there are consequences and circumstances that try to sway you one way or another, as the characters learn throughout their journey. As the movie goes on Flagg continues to build his army and set his plan of destruction in motion. The others slowly ban together and learn that they will soon have to go up against Flagg, if they choose to.
I have learned how much I relied on family and the church instead of relying on God’s purpose. Since coming to San Diego and going through a grueling program I have gone through the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. There are the times I miss the family and loved ones. And for the longest time, I thought a lot of my struggle was because I felt alone. Because those I relied on were not here with me. But that was not it at all. God has been trying to strip me of all of you I love in order to teach me to rely on him. Without the crutch of family and friends, all I have is God. This is how it should have been in the first place.
I have struggled through tests, points, instructors, quizzes, projects and clinicals. Every time I fail, I cry and complain that my confidence has been stripped and have no more energy to continue. But as my father likes to point out, that the problem is that I am focusing on myself and my confidence and need to have confidence on God and what he has for me. I was keeping a running tab of my grades. Every test, paper, quiz was kept on an excel spreadsheet because I needed to keep track of how far off I was from passing and how many points I needed to make up. This stressed me out more than I can express. I worried, doubted, and felt like giving up because I felt that no matter how much I studied, I was doomed to fail. Again, my confidence was shot. The other night I sat at the beach till about midnight. Crying, praying, fighting, and questioning. I finally released it all to God and gave way to his plan. This is funny because that’s what brought me here in the first place. Just like those in the passage, I forgot what God has done for me. The blessings, miracles, and lessons that lead me to moving to San Diego in the first place. Since that night on the beach, I have deleted the spreadsheet. My plan is to go about my studies and do all I need to be prepared and let God handle the rest. I don’t want to know what my scores are or where I stand. Because I trust that I will be successful and graduate when in January of 2010 as originally planned.
Choices are what direct our lives. If the wrong choice is made, we can’t go back and change it. We dwell on decisions of our past which is like a cancer that continues to eat at us. Someone recently told me something that nearly brought me to my knees. It took all my strength to keep my car on the road as I drove. Here is a paraphrase and personal interpretation of what was said, “I have backslidden. I have made mistakes that pulled me away from God and he still has favor on me. I am now in my older days and am starting to do things that I never thought I would do, in church and at work. If I could turn my back on God and he still open his arms to me, why would he lose favor in you? What could you have done that God can’t forgive?”
This was definitely something I needed to hear. Yes. I have made some terrible choices that have made things in my life that much harder. Like those in the passage, I continued to flatter God with empty promises because my support and foundation was with me the whole time. Now, I have to rebuild the foundation I thought I had. A foundation on God and not so much on my family. He has stripped me of my support system and comfort so that I can finally, whole heartedly rely on him. We have to live with the choices we make. We cannot change them but we can learn. And with some, we can find a way to steer ourselves in the right direction. But for those choices that we regret and have to live with, we can’t beat ourselves down. It becomes a cancer that leads to despair and darkness. Trust me I know this feeling as I am sure to some extent we all do. The choices we make and how we handle those choices help make us grow to be better examples of Gods love. We can’t be judgmental. We can’t be condescending. Because we have all been there. We have been that person that we shake our heads at. Some just hide it better than others. We must remember where we came from. I know that I will continue to make some bad choices. But awareness of choices will hopefully help us make the right ones more often then the wrong ones. What choice will you make? Where will you finally make your STAND?
I have learned how much I relied on family and the church instead of relying on God’s purpose. Since coming to San Diego and going through a grueling program I have gone through the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. There are the times I miss the family and loved ones. And for the longest time, I thought a lot of my struggle was because I felt alone. Because those I relied on were not here with me. But that was not it at all. God has been trying to strip me of all of you I love in order to teach me to rely on him. Without the crutch of family and friends, all I have is God. This is how it should have been in the first place.
I have struggled through tests, points, instructors, quizzes, projects and clinicals. Every time I fail, I cry and complain that my confidence has been stripped and have no more energy to continue. But as my father likes to point out, that the problem is that I am focusing on myself and my confidence and need to have confidence on God and what he has for me. I was keeping a running tab of my grades. Every test, paper, quiz was kept on an excel spreadsheet because I needed to keep track of how far off I was from passing and how many points I needed to make up. This stressed me out more than I can express. I worried, doubted, and felt like giving up because I felt that no matter how much I studied, I was doomed to fail. Again, my confidence was shot. The other night I sat at the beach till about midnight. Crying, praying, fighting, and questioning. I finally released it all to God and gave way to his plan. This is funny because that’s what brought me here in the first place. Just like those in the passage, I forgot what God has done for me. The blessings, miracles, and lessons that lead me to moving to San Diego in the first place. Since that night on the beach, I have deleted the spreadsheet. My plan is to go about my studies and do all I need to be prepared and let God handle the rest. I don’t want to know what my scores are or where I stand. Because I trust that I will be successful and graduate when in January of 2010 as originally planned.
Choices are what direct our lives. If the wrong choice is made, we can’t go back and change it. We dwell on decisions of our past which is like a cancer that continues to eat at us. Someone recently told me something that nearly brought me to my knees. It took all my strength to keep my car on the road as I drove. Here is a paraphrase and personal interpretation of what was said, “I have backslidden. I have made mistakes that pulled me away from God and he still has favor on me. I am now in my older days and am starting to do things that I never thought I would do, in church and at work. If I could turn my back on God and he still open his arms to me, why would he lose favor in you? What could you have done that God can’t forgive?”
This was definitely something I needed to hear. Yes. I have made some terrible choices that have made things in my life that much harder. Like those in the passage, I continued to flatter God with empty promises because my support and foundation was with me the whole time. Now, I have to rebuild the foundation I thought I had. A foundation on God and not so much on my family. He has stripped me of my support system and comfort so that I can finally, whole heartedly rely on him. We have to live with the choices we make. We cannot change them but we can learn. And with some, we can find a way to steer ourselves in the right direction. But for those choices that we regret and have to live with, we can’t beat ourselves down. It becomes a cancer that leads to despair and darkness. Trust me I know this feeling as I am sure to some extent we all do. The choices we make and how we handle those choices help make us grow to be better examples of Gods love. We can’t be judgmental. We can’t be condescending. Because we have all been there. We have been that person that we shake our heads at. Some just hide it better than others. We must remember where we came from. I know that I will continue to make some bad choices. But awareness of choices will hopefully help us make the right ones more often then the wrong ones. What choice will you make? Where will you finally make your STAND?
- John Olague Jr.
